A Thanksgiving Prayer

Our problems often seem bad because we've got it so good.

Atlanta, GA

November 27, 2025

“I have endured many horrible things, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain

Logs on the fire, football on the TV, butt in the seat, turkey in the oven.

This week we’re home. No travels, limited work, few obligations.

But one we must fulfill is to reflect on our blessings, on people who enabled them, and on those to whom we hope they’re bequeathed. And, gazing into the mirror, we spare a thought for those who don’t always appreciate them.

Then again…it’s Thanksgiving. Everybody does that.

Litany of Loathing

Instead, as we approach the dining room and find our fork, let’s take the road less traveled by…and reflect on things that tick us off, drive us crazy, and get on our last nerve. When we say grace, let’s give ourselves plenty to pray for.

Let’s cross ourselves, clasp our hands, bow our heads… and lift to Heaven our litany of loathing:

“We detest nanny devices that try to save us from ourselves. We deplore motion-sensor faucets that have replaced manual valves, and that dispense water only after we’ve spent thirty seconds miming the mannerisms of an over-caffeinated butter churner. We abominate low-flush toilets and low-pressure shower-heads. We castigate cars that speak, brake on their own, or reduce radio volume when we shift to reverse.

“We heap opprobrium on the smartphone….mother of modern ‘efficiency’, mother-in-law of modern incivility. We bemoan merchants who deny us the preference and privacy of cash. We despise the foursome ahead of us who spends five minutes surveying each putt they’re about to miss. We rebuke using the phrase “beg the question” to mean “raise the question”.

“We disdain queuing up at a bar behind a parade ordering rounds of mixed drinks, when all we want is a single glass of wine. We condemn commercial breaks both before and after the kick-off. We denounce late night World Series games.

“We excoriate being ‘upgraded’ from a window seat on the Exit Row to a middle seat in Economy ‘Comfort’. We scorn those who place their purse or briefcase in the overhead bin, displacing larger luggage that won’t fit under the seat.”

We could continue with things we resent, deplore, or abhor. But we pause in our prayer…and remember that the lens we wear determines what we see.

Neglected Miracles

Since we brought up the travails of travel, we must step back, and reflect on the observations of Louis CK, who reminds us…as we gripe about limited leg room, poor in-flight movie options, spotty wi-fi, or limited beverage service…to consider one thing.

That as we bicker that our seat doesn’t recline enough, that the one in front reclines too much, that drink service ceased one row away, or that airborne video is intermittent, we bear in mind…

…that we are sitting in a chair…in the sky!!

How quickly, as he put it about other marvels we take for granted, does the world owe us something we didn’t know existed ten minutes ago! We are so spoiled that we no longer notice the miracles:

Pearls and Diamonds

Most things that bother us aren’t really worth caring about, and will be forgotten by tomorrow.

We complain of chores…of cleaning clothes, of washing dishes. But “cleaning” and “washing” means pushing buttons on a machine. Most of us need not draw water from a fickle well, carry it from a distant stream, or do without it during midnight strolls to a backyard outhouse. Almost all of our ancestors did, till their faculties failed before they were fifty.

Like those predecessors, we must feed our families. Which for us means going to a grocery store and filling a cart with food others have hunted, herded, killed, skinned, grown, picked, packed, and delivered.

And then hauling it home in our air conditioned automobile… to store it in an electric freezer… so we can eat it at our convenience.

Or we have the food delivered to our front door, or simply go to a restaurant. No need to rotate crops, herd buffalo over a cliff, or draw straws to determine who must sample strange berries. This is not the historical human condition.

We all have problems. But we forget they usually aren’t as bad, or as real, as we presume or pretend. So, lacking ubiquitous mortal perils, and with a dearth of real foes, we become our own worst enemy.

We conjure, worry, fret, and stress about things that don’t matter or that we can’t control. We forget that if there’s no solution, there’s no problem. Or that oftentimes, even if a problem seems imminently legitimate, it’s ultimately beneficial.

As St Teresa of Ávila put it, “there are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.” Blessings, like pearls or diamonds, often come disguised.

Weeds and Roses

Our family was large and, till I was an adult, Thanksgiving was a large event. My parents would usually host, my grandparents would always join, and an assortment of aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends would complete the scene.

The set was frequently filled: the TV with football, the oven with turkey, the glasses with wine, the table with people, and the people with opinions.

But it wasn’t like what passes for “debate” today. Thoughts could be shared, as from one wick to another, without extinguishing light.

Regardless how heated, the earth wasn’t scorched, and bridges never burned. Relations were warm after any dispute.

Yet rancor was rare. And if ignited, it was quickly quenched with laughter, doused in drink, or smothered in song. Leftover dinner and dessert lasted the weekend. Bottles of wine seldom lasted the night.

Over the years, as the world has shrunk, the distance between us has grown, and we assemble less often. Many loved ones are no longer with us. I regret how infrequently we see those who remain, but am pleased how often they’re in our thoughts… as they are today.

Problems are easy to imagine and simple to see. Perspective tends to hide among the weeds. But every once in a while we inadvertently trip over it, falling face first into the roses we rarely stop to smell.

And when we do, we are reminded that we never had it so good.

Whether we like it or not.

JD