Atlanta, GA
March 23, 2026
This afternoon, while forlorn passengers spent hours herding thru the Atlanta airport, languishing outside, cattle-chuting around baggage claim, and corralled toward a “security” oasis on a distant horizon, legislators in Georgia were distracted by something inconceivably stupid.
There’s no mess politicians can’t make worse, especially since they cause most of them. But some “cures” are so silly that we assume we must’ve misunderstood them, or that they’re satire to illustrate some unseen absurdity.
Not this time.
Everything is Fake
We live in a world that’s filled with phoniness to indulge our fantasies. Our money is fake. Our food is an affront. The “News” is fabricated. Political opposition is phony.
We even queer our clocks to add implants to summer evenings. Don’t like how light it is at 6p? Just pretend it’s 7p! If nothing else, Happy Hour will start that much sooner.
The diurnal cycle has been distorted for more than a century. Enacted toward the end of the First World War, Daylight Savings Time was among its many calamities.
The idea was to “save energy” with legislation that “changed time” to fool the sun. And ourselves.
So much for “following The Science”.
But noon isn’t arbitrary. It designates the moment when the sun is highest in the sky. That was the gauge every place used to use to set its clocks.
This caused towns to run a few minutes before or behind their neighbors. Brooklyn ran ahead of Manhattan. It was slightly earlier in Ostia than in Rome. Oakland ate breakfast a few minutes before San Francisco ordered coffee.
But that didn’t matter much before the railroads rolled in. To help them run on time, the government decided to dispense with solar increments, and assigned wide swaths of the country the same hour of the day.
When the United States were split into quadrants that carved clocks based on the position of the sun, Georgia was severed. Atlanta and Columbus in Central Time; Augusta, Athens, and Savannah in the East. That’s where they were till the Second World War.
During that conflict, to coordinate transport and envisioning an enlarged airport that would put the city on the map, state leaders wanted to tether themselves to major markets on the seaboard. All of Georgia has been in Eastern Time since.
Because it’s so far (too far) west in that time zone, even during Standard Time Atlanta is almost an hour out of whack. Daylight Saving doubles the distortion. As I write, the government insists it’s 10:21p. Yet the sun says it’s only 8:37p:
Corrupt Clocks
But state “leaders” want our clocks to be even more warped. Lamenting the biannual time change, they want to repeal that ridiculous ritual.
I agree. Let’s ditch Daylight Time and stick with Standard. But they’re plan would turn a biannual annoyance into a perpetual absurdity.
Several years ago, Georgia passed a law that removed the time change. But, in typical political fashion, it did so by keeping the wrong one.
Standard Time, which more closely reflects the real world, would be ousted. The Daylight Saving Farce would be inflicted all year.
This was attempted before. Congress imposed perennial “Daylight Savings” in 1974, but abandoned the flawed experiment even before it was set to expire. As children stood at dark bus stops and sleep patterns became confused, people realized they hated the unnatural attempt to monkey with time:
Half a century after the failed trial with corrupt clocks, memories have faded and common sense declined. So the political geniuses in Georgia are drafting laws to fix the solar system.
This afternoon the state Senate passed a bill that not only makes Daylight Savings Time permanent; it assumes Georgia is at the the same longitude as Bermuda!
Despite being almost a thousand miles to the east, New England, which should be an hour (and probably two) ahead of Georgia, will instead be an hour behind. This is imbecilic.
Most Georgians (and other Americans) despised permanent Daylight Saving Time, and begged to be rid of it. With good reason.
The human body has a circadian rhythm, and the sun is its conductor. When sleep patterns slip from nature’s scales, the whole day is out of tune.
Health slips, performance dips, and accidents increase. Few like waking up three hours before the sun. And added sunlight at the end of the day encourages later bedtimes and disrupts sleep. Regardless what grillers and golfers might think (and I’m both), darkness serves a purpose.
Advocates of sham clocks argue that schedules can adjust after DST is imposed. I’m sure they can. But why not adapt now? If work and school can start later after tricking the time, why can’t they simply start earlier today?
Or maybe we should just put Georgia on Pakistan time, and enjoy daylight till dawn. Who cares what the sun says?
Infantile Age
This nonsense is indicative of our infantile age. We don’t like the way the world works, so we make believe it’s not what it is. Why not pull inches from a foot to make us taller, or add ounces to a pound so we aren’t as fat? Let’s add degrees to the thermometer so we won’t be cold.
But these arguments are probably futile.
Most people don't care what’s real. They just want what they want whether it’s possible or not. They care less about reality than for trying to escape it.
So maybe we should focus on fantasy to make our point.
Football is important in this state. Georgians may not care that they drink morning coffee in the middle of the night or that their kid waits for a bus while it’s pitch dark. But they might mind waiting till 10p to watch “prime time” games. Or staying up till 2a to watch them end.
The University of Georgia would be two hours ahead of Auburn University (only three hours away). That isn’t natural. It’s ridiculous, and warrants ridicule.
Solar Schoolmarm
Each day, like every coin, has two sides. We think we’d enjoy the sun setting after dinner. But will we like it rising a couple hours before lunch? Will we want to begin each day in the middle of nature’s night? Is it healthy to do so? Do we even care?
And do we really want the sun, like a humorless hall monitor, watching over us so deep into the day? A setting sun is a signal. Time to retreat home from a hectic day…perhaps to open a window in the summer, or light a fire in the winter. We lift our feet, pour some wine, and loosen our limbs. We relax, and let our hair down.
These natural inclinations are less instinctive with a solar schoolmarm standing over us. She has her place. But it’s in the morning, to roust us awake and get us going. We don’t need an intrusive day hanging around at night, when we gather at the table or round the hearth, to talk about it behind its back.
From ancient sundials to atomic clocks, devices to track time are intended to tell the truth. But as night follows day, many of us prefer the lie.
Envisioning an extra hour (or two) of evening light, they cheer the deception. It’s easier to see the light than to envision the dark. But no matter how much they finagle their clocks, they’ll get both… and more of the one they don’t prefer.
JD